Barney and Jean-luc walked into the bistro, at least it had the word ‘bistro’ in its name, they wanted to get something to eat and they wanted more importantly to get something to drink. They were laughing when the hostess asked them “how many”. They’d just gotten done with a session at Mind Fry Studios. It had gone well. The band had started a dirge like groove and were simmering along with it. Babakar had not yet arrived so they were just jamming. Luckily John McGrail was in the control room and started to record them as the groove played out. Then out of no where Jean-luc started spitting out some of the more caustic rhymes the Consort has yet to come up with. Realizing what they had they kept going all the while exchanging knowing looks at each other and the occasional repressed laugh. It was happening. Their collective muse was singing out loud and clear. Once Babakar arrived he gave it a listen and liked it so much decided they should skip what they’d planned and finish this recording best they could in an evening. It turned out that they got a great deal of it done but now it was that point where the creativity has dissipated and you just have the feeling. Better than post sex. The song was titled “Nobody Likes You”. Lyrics by Jean-luc Sartre!
The hostess had sat them by the window at Jean-luc’s request. It was just him and Barney. The rest all had obligations except Babakar who just felt like hanging with John at the studio. Seems there was some Calvados to be sampled.
“So Jean-luc, which one of your young conquests is this ditty about? Also since when have you been a lyricist?” Barney asked. Jean-luc smiled and looked down at his placemat. “I’ve always written. I wrote my first poem back when I was 8 years old. I don’t really think I am that talented so I don’t put anything out. It is more as my own sense of therapy that I write.” he said.
“Good stuff but I am really more interested in which of your many young conquests inspired this particular collection of rhymes? Seriously was it Clarissa, or Sarah, or.... what was her name, definitely a bitch,,,” Barney was saying.
“Not Clarissa, she was a sweetheart.” Jean-luc said.
“Ooooh, what was her name?” Barney questioned
“Rose, Flo, Tara?” Jean-luc said adding to the list.
“No not them, damn I can see her just can’t think of her name.”
“Mavis, Laura, Ann, Mary, Wendy, Sheryl, Sheila...” Jean-luc continued.
“No, no ah...” Barney perused his memory without success.
“Julie, Megan, Heather, Rachel, Courtney......” Jean-luc droned on.
“Damn Jean-luc, how many are there?” Barney asked incredulously.
“Agnes, Linda...” Jean-luc continued.
“I’m thinking of Linda, I think. Short, wide, solid...” Barney was speculating.
“That’s an accurate description of Linda. Lacy and Jennifer were bitches, as well, which is not to say its about any of them, just that they were bitches.”
“Linda, it’s Linda I’m thinking about.” Barney concluded confidently.
“I admit the lyrics don’t cast the figure being spoken about in a good light. But there are people like that. I suppose it could be about a lot of women. I don’t like to think of my words as weapons so I would never reveal who it was about. It doesn’t matter. It’s not really about a particular woman, though I admit there is one who was an important motivation for the lyrics. Besides it’s what is said not, who it is, that is important. Seems harsh but it is fairly cathartic for me, I can’t apologize...”
“Wouldn’t want you Jean-luc, but......who is it about. The whole band wants to know. They gave me the mission to find out. Have another drink.” Barney implored
“We haven’t gotten our first yet, where is that waitress?”
“True, but I have to get you drunk so you’ll tell.” Barney said fully knowing that admitting his plan was not going to advance it.
“Won’t happen Barn, Babakar himself could ask and I wouldn’t say, although he, I bet, is not in on the plan that has sent you as inquisitor.”
“You’re right. When you’d gone to the bathroom the rest of us were talking about it. Babakar just shook his head and smiled. He knows over grown kids when he sees them.” Barney said. After a moment he added “But who was it?” And they both started to laugh. It was then that their drinks arrived.
“I will say, though I think it is obvious from the lyric, that it is about a young girl, a ‘conquest’, as you put it, but I won’t say who.” Jean -luc went on.
“Pfffftt, that doesn’t narrow it down much at all ya know. ” Barney said shaking his head. “Why is it that you bag so many young ones. You’re older than I am! How do you do it.?”
“That my friend I cannot answer. It just seems to happen. I have to admit I rarely make the first move. It is always the young girls that come on to me. I would only expend my own energy on an older woman, one who has some substance, someone who could challenge me intellectually, merge with me spiritually, someone who knows something about true passion, if you know what I mean... but... if a young girl wants to jump into my lap well that’s fine. Throw yourself at me that’s OK. I’ll catch. It will be fun for a spell and then it will be over.” Jean luc said. Barney smiled shaking his head. Then there was silence as Barney sipped his beer and Jean-luc tasted his wine.
“It’s your accent it’s got to be your accent!” Barney said once the silence went too long. “Maybe I’ll start using an English accent and see what happens. Think that’d work for me?” Jean-luc just smiled and took another sip of wine.